Mental Health

Today is the day I went back.

Back to Dr Rensburg. Well to be honest, I was really going back to see Viola. She is an incredible councillor and so easy to talk to. No judgements. I didn’t look at my weigh-in number. I know it would be a little distressing and that if I am on the program I will feel much better about my weight next week.

As I sit here thinking about my weight, I am also listening to Q&A on the ABC. Whilst my weight is important to my overall wellbeing, I am so lucky compared to many others that suffer from mental health issues. This week is Mental Health Week and they have an incredible line-up of television programs for viewing this week.

Some years ago I needed the care of a number mental healthcare professionals and I cannot speak more highly of the role they play in society.

Please take the time and think about mental health in your community and how you might be able to contribute to someone who might need it.

Like the campaign; R U OK Organisation – a conversation could change a life.

It’s too cold

Sweet Summer Dreams

Last time I lost a whole bunch of weight was over the 2010 summer period so I didn’t really notice the cold.  Right now I’m 13.5kgs down (that’s nearly 30lbs) and I am cold cold cold all the time which, in turn, leads me to staring at the blogs of the current Northern Hemisphere summer.

One of my favourties is Jeanne Damas. She is this gorgeous 20-something Parisian living a fabulous life. Truthfully it reminds me of my time living in Europe – oh what fun that was and how unburdened I felt back then.  The shot above just makes me long for summer and how healthy and fit I will be.  It keeps me focused.  This is her below.  How carefree she looks – this is what I want (again).

SSD

It’s been a crap couple of months, but I have remained totally loyal to the Rensburg program and it has paid dividends. In fact I think it’s helped in some small way as everything else in my life seemed so uncertain.  I haven’t had a drink for nearly 7 weeks and as I mentioned before I am down 13.5 kgs which has made a massive difference to how I look (and feel).

Happy Thursday.

The problem with being able to smell

So I’m sitting at my desk around lunchtime minding my own business when I start to smell that unique and truly magical smell of freshly fried chips.  And not just crappy chips from some local deli that are all soggy, I am talking about hand cut shoestring fries from one of the best little cafés in Perth; The Tuckshop Cafe.

Tuck Shop Cafe Chips

I couldn’t help it.  I got out of my seat and went over to take a look.  Just a look mind you.  There they were looking all crunchy and salty.  I wanted one.  No I wanted two.  No I actually wanted to eat the whole damn lot. I mean who wouldn’t?  I hadn’t had lunch yet as I was running around from one client meeting to the next all morning.

I was in very dangerous territory.

But I knew what to do.  You see I have this inspirational photograph that’s hanging on the wall right behind one of my computer screens.  It’s from an article about ‘curvy model Kate Upton’ from last month’s American Vogue – I have no idea why she isn’t a ‘normal’ model but that’s a whole other blog post.

Kate Upton Vogue

I can feel her smile, her confidence and that’s what I want and that’s what I’m going to get being on the Rensburg program.  I’m not going to get it from some basket of fries that will feel good for a couple of seconds – not to mention the guilt that will settle in for at least a few hours.

It’s also not so much about her body in this shot but the bathing suit.  When I hit my goal weight, these are the bathers I am going to buy, no matter what the cost.  Designed by Chanel, they are so beautiful that it makes all the pain now worth it now.

I think I need to carry this photo in my wallet as well come to think of it…

Alone, but not

Tree

Some days, when you’re on this eating regime (see how I didn’t call it a diet), you feel alone.  All alone, but supported at the same time.  This photo I took reminded me of how I am feeling today.

I am down about 6kgs on and off and that is really good, but I expect way too much of myself. I need to take the time.  Enjoy. Read. Recover and rediscover the love I have for my body and all it gives me every day.

A change of mind (and heart)

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I don’t know how many times on this blog I have said the words “it’s finally time.  I am taking responsibility for my health and happiness”.  Well my friends I am going to say it again.

I’ve had quite a hard time of it lately. I was not looking after my health, I was drinking way too much, I was eating about three times the average amount of food a normal person should eat, sometimes secretly.  All of this ended up with me gaining not only weight but also questioning who I want to be for the rest of my life.

On July 11th this month I turned 47.  Now I’m not big on the age thing.  It is what it is, but this time I could actually notice myself aging. I could see my skin getting that little bit thinner and dry.  My period, which was as reliable as Big Ben, was now all over the place, sometimes not coming for months at a time.  Gravity was beginning to really come calling and I was feeling VERY sorry for myself.

Knowing that I hadn’t had proper ‘get on a plane with a passport vacation’ for years, my oldest and dearest friend talked me into going to Phuket to a luxurious villa.  Needless to say from the picture above it was amazing.

Unfortunately the second night I fell over and badly sprained my ankle leaving it incredibly difficult to walk for the rest of the holiday.  For me this was a real wake up call.  If I don’t start doing something about my health, my weight and my work/life balance the rest of my life is not going to get any better.  If anything, worse.

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Our private infinity pool.

We talked a lot on that vacation about health and our lives and where we wanted to be.  He had a good friend who passed away some years ago now.  She tried for years and years to give up smoking but couldn’t. During her career she worked incredibly hard for all they had. She was the hardest of workers.  It came to her one day, a little too late, that if she is such a hard worker, then giving up smoking is just hard work and I know I can do that.

Now I am sure I‘m not doing this story any justice but it rang true with me.  I work bloody hard, so this is just another something I need to work hard at, and to me it makes total sense. I have worked hard all my life in my career; surely I can work hard at something that is going to keep me alive and feeling good.

Yes, it does sound way too easy but it’s put my head into a totally different space and that’s a good thing. So here I go.

But, just a little bit differently this time.

Going Paleo

 

I’m thinking of going Paleo – I have been contemplating it for a long time.  I have bought most of the books on this subject and I’m set. I found the illustration above on Cave Girl Eats and it really rang true for me.  I love being able to source and cook fresh food.  I love going to the markets on the weekend and buying what’s in season.

I’m lucky enough that I can afford to support local producers and ethically I do feel as if I have some responsibility to do it as well.  So let the Paleo games begin.

There are a number of great sites for support, recipes and Q&A.  My favourite is Nom Nom Paleo.  You should check out her wonderful site and amazing iPad ap.  It’s the bomb.

Weight Watchers (again)

To say this has been a disastrous and stressful couple of months in my life would be putting it mildly. I am sure the absence from here has given a clear indication of that.

This long Easter weekend made me ponder about my life, what’s working, what isn’t and the fact that I’ve gained back half of the weight I took off with Dr. Rensburg. And the three I took off at my last 5-week stint with him.

Clearly the Rensburg way is not working for me like it did last time.  This is due to a number of factors, but the main one being it’s just too strict and I cannot deal with such austerity when I have client lunches and dinners at least twice a week.  Now I know that sounds like a poor excuse, but I just can’t do it at the moment.

So this weekend I turned to the other program that’s worked for me in the past.  Weight Watchers online. When I lived in New York I used the first iteration of the online version (2001) to lose around 9kgs. On this program I was also able to manage the client lunches and dinners. The big thing for me will be giving up having a drink in the evening with the boy.  It also (falsely from the research I’ve done) helps me sleep.

So with credit card poised (only $89.85 for three months) I joined.  I spend yesterday familiarizing myself with the way it works – it’s quiet different, as it should be, from when I used it over 9 years ago.

Once again I am embarking on a weight loss program. I feel confident, but I know it will be hard in the first few weeks.  I just have to get through that and I will be OK.  I can plan my week around the points and my client lunches and dinners. No it doesn’t mean that I can order anything I like when I’m out, but I have more options now.  Lean meats and vegetables are always on the menu.  I can even have a glass of wine now and then.

Last night I made Shepard’s Pie Potatoes. Only 6 points and it was delicious (check out the shot above). I love cooking so I’m looking forward to finding and creating some scrumptious low point recipes. Here is a link to the PDF of the recipe above, if you’re so inclined.

Hope you all had a fantastic, chocolate filled Easter.