Mental Health

Today is the day I went back.

Back to Dr Rensburg. Well to be honest, I was really going back to see Viola. She is an incredible councillor and so easy to talk to. No judgements. I didn’t look at my weigh-in number. I know it would be a little distressing and that if I am on the program I will feel much better about my weight next week.

As I sit here thinking about my weight, I am also listening to Q&A on the ABC. Whilst my weight is important to my overall wellbeing, I am so lucky compared to many others that suffer from mental health issues. This week is Mental Health Week and they have an incredible line-up of television programs for viewing this week.

Some years ago I needed the care of a number mental healthcare professionals and I cannot speak more highly of the role they play in society.

Please take the time and think about mental health in your community and how you might be able to contribute to someone who might need it.

Like the campaign; R U OK Organisation – a conversation could change a life.

It’s too cold

Sweet Summer Dreams

Last time I lost a whole bunch of weight was over the 2010 summer period so I didn’t really notice the cold.  Right now I’m 13.5kgs down (that’s nearly 30lbs) and I am cold cold cold all the time which, in turn, leads me to staring at the blogs of the current Northern Hemisphere summer.

One of my favourties is Jeanne Damas. She is this gorgeous 20-something Parisian living a fabulous life. Truthfully it reminds me of my time living in Europe – oh what fun that was and how unburdened I felt back then.  The shot above just makes me long for summer and how healthy and fit I will be.  It keeps me focused.  This is her below.  How carefree she looks – this is what I want (again).


It’s been a crap couple of months, but I have remained totally loyal to the Rensburg program and it has paid dividends. In fact I think it’s helped in some small way as everything else in my life seemed so uncertain.  I haven’t had a drink for nearly 7 weeks and as I mentioned before I am down 13.5 kgs which has made a massive difference to how I look (and feel).

Happy Thursday.

Weight Watchers (again)

To say this has been a disastrous and stressful couple of months in my life would be putting it mildly. I am sure the absence from here has given a clear indication of that.

This long Easter weekend made me ponder about my life, what’s working, what isn’t and the fact that I’ve gained back half of the weight I took off with Dr. Rensburg. And the three I took off at my last 5-week stint with him.

Clearly the Rensburg way is not working for me like it did last time.  This is due to a number of factors, but the main one being it’s just too strict and I cannot deal with such austerity when I have client lunches and dinners at least twice a week.  Now I know that sounds like a poor excuse, but I just can’t do it at the moment.

So this weekend I turned to the other program that’s worked for me in the past.  Weight Watchers online. When I lived in New York I used the first iteration of the online version (2001) to lose around 9kgs. On this program I was also able to manage the client lunches and dinners. The big thing for me will be giving up having a drink in the evening with the boy.  It also (falsely from the research I’ve done) helps me sleep.

So with credit card poised (only $89.85 for three months) I joined.  I spend yesterday familiarizing myself with the way it works – it’s quiet different, as it should be, from when I used it over 9 years ago.

Once again I am embarking on a weight loss program. I feel confident, but I know it will be hard in the first few weeks.  I just have to get through that and I will be OK.  I can plan my week around the points and my client lunches and dinners. No it doesn’t mean that I can order anything I like when I’m out, but I have more options now.  Lean meats and vegetables are always on the menu.  I can even have a glass of wine now and then.

Last night I made Shepard’s Pie Potatoes. Only 6 points and it was delicious (check out the shot above). I love cooking so I’m looking forward to finding and creating some scrumptious low point recipes. Here is a link to the PDF of the recipe above, if you’re so inclined.

Hope you all had a fantastic, chocolate filled Easter.


Week One – Weigh-in

This first week has been tough.  Tougher than I thought.  I had my weigh-in this morning and I was down 1.1kgs.  Now that’s on their scales.  On my scales I was down about 2kg’s.  All in all I’m happy with that.  I know I have to take each week as it comes and a loss, is well, a loss.

If I examine my week in detail, I can see where I went off plan.  I definitely eat way more vegetables that I should.  It seems like 50cals here and there shouldn’t make a difference, but it does.  I am eating well over 300gms per meal rather than the prescribed 95gms.  I am also eating a little too much red meat.  Mr. Man needs his meat at night and I always have some along with him – but only the 95gms.  It all adds up.  I think more fish and chicken for me.  I’ve wanted to cut down on the red meat for a while

We bought a huge bag of cooked king prawns last week and I divided them into 95gm bags and froze them.  Prawns are low in fat, coming in at 73cals, where lean red meat averages around 110cals per 95gms.  We also bought chicken breast in bulk and I cut that down into 95gm bags and put them in the freezer.  Too easy.  The key to this eating plan is preparation.  I have to make it easy for me to eat when I need to.

Whilst you don’t have to keep a food diary, I find it incredibly helpful.  I am well known for forgetting what goes in my mouth.  I use an iPhone app called ‘MyNetDiary’.  It’s fantastic.  You can keep rack of your food, your progress charts, exercise and water you drink.  It’s also available via the web.  Check it out here.

So this week I am going to be a lot stricter with what I eat, stick to the plan and do the fast on Wednesday.

Happy Monday.  What are your challenges this week?

6th February, 2012

Let it be known that today – the 6th February, 2012 – I am taking back responsibility for my health.  Today at 1.30pm I am back at Dr. Rensburg to finally succeed in doing what I didn’t quite do last time; to finally take this weight off once and for all.

Yesterday I gave myself a free pass in the kitchen.  I could have whatever I wanted, when I wanted it.  It was horrible.  I ate but I didn’t enjoy it one bit. I threw it all away this morning – and then I realised that I am ready.

I know in my head I am so so ready. I have been reading all my old notes and I came across this interesting sheet where he got you to write down ’12 reasons why you want to reach your goal weight’.  I had only managed two.  They were:

  1. Getting out of bed in the morning and feeling energised.
  2. Being able to fit back into my beautiful clothes again.

Well now I think it’s time I actually add a few more to that list.  Let’s start with:

  1.  Being able to walk with my shoulders back and not feel ashamed of my body – (although I do have a newly found respect for it during this process).
  2. Feeling ‘lighter’ in spirit. I have noticed that my heart feels very heavy – almost depressed. I am unable to concentrate as much as I use to. I really need to be able to do with the work I do.
  3. Find the joy in the little things. 2011 was a rough one – but we’re on the way up. I want to be appreciative for the support I received over this very rocky period.
  4. This year I turn 46.  I want to hit the 11th July at my goal weight of 63kgs by then.  I know there will be ups and downs but I am prepared mentally and I know that’s the most important thing to get right.

I will check back in over the coming days – maybe even show you shots of the food (or lack there of) that I prepare.

I really am wishing me luck.

This is me one week ago – trust me it’s a VERY flattering shot.

Wow.  What a crazy 7 months it’s been in my life.  Sometimes it’s been just fantastic, and at other times I have been at the point of despair, not quite sure how I can go on with the situation as it is.

And in the middle of all of this, yes I have put on weight.  These past couple of days I have decided to be completely honest with myself (yes it took me a couple of days to face up to the scales).  I have put on SEVEN-POINT-FIVE kilograms.  That would be 16.5 lbs.  This has only happened over the last 4 weeks – and now is the time to do something about it.

It was not a shock.  I mean when your clothes start getting that little bit too tight and your jeans are, well not at all loose, then your body is telling you something.  And that’s OK.  Well actually it’s not that OK but I now have the tools in my pocket to get rid of this weight and shed even more this spring just in time for summer.

Bring on summer I say.

I am good with a goal.  When I lost nearly 25kgs, it was because I wanted to lose 25kgs.  Now, given what I have put on I want to lose 18kgs.  That will have me weighing in at 63 kgs or 138.6 lbs.

Not only will I go back on my program (documented throughout this blog) but I have set a secondary goal.  That goal is to run a 5k marathon.  YES, a 5k marathon and me.  Now that’s a big goal.

Yes that’s the one highlighted.

I started Sunday.  I kind of started on Saturday with buying a new sport bra (my how they have come on since I last bought one – as well as the cost – $80!!) and a new pair of Brooks running shoes (um when did work-out shoes cost you $250??) and socks (HELLO – $35 for socks that ‘support’ you).

Armed with this $365 investment I signed up to the 0-5k Runkeeper program ($4.95).  I love love love Runkeeper – I’m an ex-researcher and anything that will give me stats makes me very happy (as well as knowing that I am getting closer to my goal).

The Runkeeper program

My last goal is to work on my blog again.  It really kept me focused as I navigated through the maze of weight loss.  This now leads nicely into how I want to finish my first (well not quite) entry

THANK YOU for all the emails and messages you have sent asking how I was.  It really meant a lot to me.  You have no idea how much.

Much love, Carolyn

It’s bloody hard

Yep.  It seems the closer I get to my goal, the harder it becomes to focus.  But there is no stopping me now.  Just another 10kgs and I will be there.  I know it’s ‘do-able’ and I cannot wait to have a slice of cheese again :).  23.2kgs (51.04lbs) down.

It’s been so busy at work that I have been reading all your wonderful blogs, but just haven’t had a chance to comment on any of them.  You still all inspire me so much.

(Relatively) Slow and steady

Well I am pleased to report that I have not put on but lost over the Christmas / New Year period.  In fact, with my official weigh-in today, I am now down 19.7khs (38.94lbs).  I am proud, but not amazed, and that’s a good thing.

Today at the Doctors they asked me to pick up this huge water bottle and walk around with it.  I could barely lift it up – it was so heavy and weighed about 16/19kgs.  That, she said, was what I had been walking around with. Holding it for about 3 minutes, I began to feel the pressure all over my body.  I know there’s no such as thing as ‘never ever-again’ but seriously NEVER will I go back to that weight again.

What I need to do now is knuckle down and get rid of these next 15kgs (33lbs).  The difference from when I first started is knowing that I can do it and how much it will be worth.