Where I would like to be sitting right now.
Last time I lost a whole bunch of weight was over the 2010 summer period so I didn’t really notice the cold. Right now I’m 13.5kgs down (that’s nearly 30lbs) and I am cold cold cold all the time which, in turn, leads me to staring at the blogs of the current Northern Hemisphere summer.
One of my favourties is Jeanne Damas. She is this gorgeous 20-something Parisian living a fabulous life. Truthfully it reminds me of my time living in Europe – oh what fun that was and how unburdened I felt back then. The shot above just makes me long for summer and how healthy and fit I will be. It keeps me focused. This is her below. How carefree she looks – this is what I want (again).
It’s been a crap couple of months, but I have remained totally loyal to the Rensburg program and it has paid dividends. In fact I think it’s helped in some small way as everything else in my life seemed so uncertain. I haven’t had a drink for nearly 7 weeks and as I mentioned before I am down 13.5 kgs which has made a massive difference to how I look (and feel).
“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
So I’m sitting at my desk around lunchtime minding my own business when I start to smell that unique and truly magical smell of freshly fried chips. And not just crappy chips from some local deli that are all soggy, I am talking about hand cut shoestring fries from one of the best little cafés in Perth; The Tuckshop Cafe.
I couldn’t help it. I got out of my seat and went over to take a look. Just a look mind you. There they were looking all crunchy and salty. I wanted one. No I wanted two. No I actually wanted to eat the whole damn lot. I mean who wouldn’t? I hadn’t had lunch yet as I was running around from one client meeting to the next all morning.
I was in very dangerous territory.
But I knew what to do. You see I have this inspirational photograph that’s hanging on the wall right behind one of my computer screens. It’s from an article about ‘curvy model Kate Upton’ from last month’s American Vogue – I have no idea why she isn’t a ‘normal’ model but that’s a whole other blog post.
I can feel her smile, her confidence and that’s what I want and that’s what I’m going to get being on the Rensburg program. I’m not going to get it from some basket of fries that will feel good for a couple of seconds – not to mention the guilt that will settle in for at least a few hours.
It’s also not so much about her body in this shot but the bathing suit. When I hit my goal weight, these are the bathers I am going to buy, no matter what the cost. Designed by Chanel, they are so beautiful that it makes all the pain now worth it now.
I think I need to carry this photo in my wallet as well come to think of it…
So this is my favourite breakfast and I just had to share it with you. First of all cut a finely sliced tomato or two. Place it in the bottom of the pan and put on the heat to cool. Use a non-stick pan. Please. Disastrous if not.
Whilst that’s cooking chop up about 100 gms of spinach – I like it fine, but however you like it just go for it. Get 5/6 egg whites in a bowl and stir until there is a little air in them – it will make them a bit fluffy later. Add the spinach and pour over the cooked eggs. Cook gently, placing a lid on the top to steam the mixture in the middle.
After about 10 minutes put a plate on the top of the pan and flip over – it should just pop out. I usually add a bit of salt, pepper and some chilli.
Grab a black cup of coffee, the weekend paper and I promise you it will be a good day. Do any of you have any tips like this that are practically calorie free but delicious. Because I’m not on bread at the moment, I usually, if hungry, put some on rice cakes. Nice and crunchy.
I’ve got to get to bed. It’s been a 16 hour day.
One thing I’ve noticed that I wanted to share. I’m not that afraid (well just a little) to put myself back into photos as I drop weight. Even a selfie and this was one take – usually I have to take 20 to get one I am happy with. Mind you it does have an Instagram filter, but I’m getting there.
Some days, when you’re on this eating regime (see how I didn’t call it a diet), you feel alone. All alone, but supported at the same time. This photo I took reminded me of how I am feeling today.
I am down about 6kgs on and off and that is really good, but I expect way too much of myself. I need to take the time. Enjoy. Read. Recover and rediscover the love I have for my body and all it gives me every day.
I don’t know how many times on this blog I have said the words “it’s finally time. I am taking responsibility for my health and happiness”. Well my friends I am going to say it again.
I’ve had quite a hard time of it lately. I was not looking after my health, I was drinking way too much, I was eating about three times the average amount of food a normal person should eat, sometimes secretly. All of this ended up with me gaining not only weight but also questioning who I want to be for the rest of my life.
On July 11th this month I turned 47. Now I’m not big on the age thing. It is what it is, but this time I could actually notice myself aging. I could see my skin getting that little bit thinner and dry. My period, which was as reliable as Big Ben, was now all over the place, sometimes not coming for months at a time. Gravity was beginning to really come calling and I was feeling VERY sorry for myself.
Knowing that I hadn’t had proper ‘get on a plane with a passport vacation’ for years, my oldest and dearest friend talked me into going to Phuket to a luxurious villa. Needless to say from the picture above it was amazing.
Unfortunately the second night I fell over and badly sprained my ankle leaving it incredibly difficult to walk for the rest of the holiday. For me this was a real wake up call. If I don’t start doing something about my health, my weight and my work/life balance the rest of my life is not going to get any better. If anything, worse.
Our private infinity pool.
We talked a lot on that vacation about health and our lives and where we wanted to be. He had a good friend who passed away some years ago now. She tried for years and years to give up smoking but couldn’t. During her career she worked incredibly hard for all they had. She was the hardest of workers. It came to her one day, a little too late, that if she is such a hard worker, then giving up smoking is just hard work and I know I can do that.
Now I am sure I‘m not doing this story any justice but it rang true with me. I work bloody hard, so this is just another something I need to work hard at, and to me it makes total sense. I have worked hard all my life in my career; surely I can work hard at something that is going to keep me alive and feeling good.
Yes, it does sound way too easy but it’s put my head into a totally different space and that’s a good thing. So here I go.
But, just a little bit differently this time.