Avital Zeisler

avital

An amazing woman, I am currently doing her October challenge. It’s not a fitness program but something so much more about defending yourself and being strong. I encourage you to check it out here.

We are on day six now and this is the quote of the day. I am sure she will not mind me posting just the quote – it was too powerful not to and rings so true to where I am at the moment.

avital zeisler

The problem with being able to smell

So I’m sitting at my desk around lunchtime minding my own business when I start to smell that unique and truly magical smell of freshly fried chips.  And not just crappy chips from some local deli that are all soggy, I am talking about hand cut shoestring fries from one of the best little cafés in Perth; The Tuckshop Cafe.

Tuck Shop Cafe Chips

I couldn’t help it.  I got out of my seat and went over to take a look.  Just a look mind you.  There they were looking all crunchy and salty.  I wanted one.  No I wanted two.  No I actually wanted to eat the whole damn lot. I mean who wouldn’t?  I hadn’t had lunch yet as I was running around from one client meeting to the next all morning.

I was in very dangerous territory.

But I knew what to do.  You see I have this inspirational photograph that’s hanging on the wall right behind one of my computer screens.  It’s from an article about ‘curvy model Kate Upton’ from last month’s American Vogue – I have no idea why she isn’t a ‘normal’ model but that’s a whole other blog post.

Kate Upton Vogue

I can feel her smile, her confidence and that’s what I want and that’s what I’m going to get being on the Rensburg program.  I’m not going to get it from some basket of fries that will feel good for a couple of seconds – not to mention the guilt that will settle in for at least a few hours.

It’s also not so much about her body in this shot but the bathing suit.  When I hit my goal weight, these are the bathers I am going to buy, no matter what the cost.  Designed by Chanel, they are so beautiful that it makes all the pain now worth it now.

I think I need to carry this photo in my wallet as well come to think of it…

Filling Breakfast

Tomato Egg White Omelette

So this is my favourite breakfast and I just had to share it with you. First of all cut a finely sliced tomato or two.  Place it in the bottom of the pan and put on the heat to cool.  Use a non-stick pan. Please.  Disastrous if not.

Whilst that’s cooking chop up about 100 gms of spinach – I like it fine, but however you like it just go for it.  Get 5/6 egg whites in a bowl and stir until there is a little air in them – it will make them a bit fluffy later. Add the spinach and pour over the cooked eggs.  Cook gently, placing a lid on the top to steam the mixture in the middle.

After about 10 minutes put a plate on the top of the pan and flip over – it should just pop out. I usually add a bit of salt, pepper and some chilli.

Grab a black cup of coffee, the weekend paper and I promise you it will be a good day. Do any of you have any tips like this that are practically calorie free but delicious. Because I’m not on bread at the moment, I usually, if hungry, put some on rice cakes. Nice and crunchy.

I’ve got to get to bed. It’s been a 16 hour day.

The here and now

It’s so easy to just put food in your mouth (seems rather obvious) without thinking about it.  I mean this is why I’m in the trouble I am now.

So I started thinking about how to stop myself just carelessly putting food in my mouth.  Last time I was on Dr. Rensburg’s diet I use to say to myself “if what you’re eating right now can create the exact same feeling of walking down to the beach in your bathers and feeling confident, then you can have it”.  Hasn’t worked so well this time I must admit.

Then I came across this blog entry from Your Healthisa.  It was written around Christmas 2010 and goes like this:

All you have to ask yourself is, “Can I eat this food only HERE and NOW? Or could I easily eat it tomorrow, or next week, or next month?” If the answer to the question is “only here and now,” then you should probably at least sample whatever it is (if it’s appealing to you)! If the answer is that you could easily eat the food tomorrow or next month, it’s probably a good time to hold out for better treats.

Here’s what I mean. Say your coworker brings in doughnuts that he made himself. He only makes them once a year at the holidays because they’re not easy to make. He says they’re really special and don’t taste anything like the doughnuts you can get at Dunkin’.

If you like doughnuts and are hungry enough to eat one, by all means, DO IT!! These doughnuts are DEFINITELY hear and now treats.

However, if your coworker brings in doughnuts from Dunkin’ Donuts (or whatever run-of-the-mill store), which — though they might be covered in holiday-themed frosting — you can pretty much get anywhere, consider saving yourself for a more special treat.

I really like the idea of this and will try it out over the next few weeks.

Lunch today

Today lunch consisted of:

Shaved Turkey breast (68)
Small tomato (7)
Spinach and rocket (17)
Carrot (20)
Rice cake (35)
Capsicum (pepper) (10)

c=157

I think it ‘s getting easier.  I think. Mind you it is Friday and all I can think about is having a very dirty vodka martini on the rocks after work.

This is definitely evidenced (apart from the whole martini thing) by the fact that the rest of the team have gone out for Dim Sum and I am left in the office to answer the phones and eat my turkey breast salad.

Tomorrow night I just know I am going to run into big troubles.  Mr. Man and I have accepted an invitation to degustation with my biggest client.  I mean I couldn’t say no now could I?  My anxiety levels are at an all time high thinking of how I can avoid the 7 courses.  No drinking, no problem.  You can excuse that on driving, but not eating…

A part of me wants to come clean and say “You know what, I can’t do that, but how about we go here (insert Thai restaurant).  You see the reason is, I’m taking responsibility for my health and degustation just doesn’t fit into the plan at the moment”.  But no, I chickened out.  You can’t hide when there is only four of you.  Now way, not at all.

The other thing I don’t want to do is starve myself before and after the meal so I make up the calories.  The main reason I’m back on the plan is to look after my health.

What to do, what to do…

Thought you might like to see the menu.  Any tips?

Getting there

Nearly 15kgs (31.9lbs) down. I can’t believe it!

It’s been so long since I wrote a post and I must admit that I am feeling slightly guilty as I love my daily dose of blogs that inspire and keep me going when it get’s tough.  I don’t feel like I’ve been putting in my fair share.

‘Real’ work has been crazy these past weeks – traditionally this is our busiest time with clients wanting stuff done before they go on vacation – how inconsiderate!  I haven’t been able to get in the right headspace to write about all the things I want to say about being on this diet (it’s bloody hard) and slowly starting to see results.  Things like:

  • My rings are almost too loose on my fingers now
  • The compliments I get nearly every day
  • Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and being surprised (in a good way)
  • Walking into most shops and knowing that I will be able to find something that looks good and fits me
  • Fitting into some of my shoes (of all things) again
  • Not having sore feet and cracked heels

I’m so happy that I only have another 4 or so days at work before I take off for vacation until the New Year.  This year Mr Man and I have decided to stay home and enjoy the time with family and friends.  I desperately want to go away, but business has been incredibly tough on us this year, so maybe next year.  I will have a ‘proper’ Thanksgiving in 2011.

I am nervous about all the food and drink that goes along with this time of year.  I know that I’ve been the strongest I ever have about being discipline with my food, but you know what it’s like: just one little bit can turn into ‘why not I’ve already had the lions-share with that bite’.

Given how restricted my foods have been, I know that eating something ‘normal’ again will, without doubt, put my tummy into over-drive.  Taking it slowly, and only eating when I am hungry will be my modus operandi.  During the weeks’ break I have also committed to not putting on any weight and staying steady (being kind if I don’t loose any – which is inevitable).  As I’ve mentioned before, I can see that celebratory bottle of Dom waiting for me and I will savour every, single drop without fail.

There is such a beautiful sea breeze blowing through the doors at work at the moment and I am happy that I am on the way to becoming comfortable in my own skin again.

About being a “new me”

I thought you all might like to see a picture of my beautiful boys!

At this time I wrote my first post here on Carolyn Wants To Shrink I was weighing in at around 88kgs.  Little did I realise that over the next 20 or so months I would put on another 10kgs.  I am usually a happy chappie when I weigh between 60 and 65kgs.  Now that is a whole lot of weight gain in anyone’s book.

There were a number of reasons as to why I was unhappy, eating too much, drinking too much – but when it comes down to it, I really didn’t like who I was and that resulted in me not looking after my body.  So my body did something clever – it got bigger and bigger until I paid attention to it.

It will be six weeks ago tomorrow since I walked into Dr Rensburg’s office and began to take responsibility for what I was putting into my mouth and how I was nourishing my body.

The one thing I was most ‘scared’ about was not getting enough food (yes, how right I was).  Crazy thing is I am around way more food than I need to be 24 hours a day – so what was it really?

Then it dawned on me…  I was petrified of being hungry.

The one thing this program has taught me is it’s OK to be hungry.  Nothing will happen to me if I’m hungry.  I will not faint, I will not, not be able to work.  I will be OK.  I find an incredible amount of comfort in this fact, liberating almost.

Now I know that there will always be food to eat, and it’s OK to be hungry and my body will not fail me because I am not constantly feeding it.

Crazy times

Yes, I promise I am still here.  This week and last have been so crazy with work and Mr Man being back.  Not to mention the number of cocktail parties and work functions on.

Good news is I am down another 1kg, and not ONCE did I even take a drink or food off my plan.  I am coming up to week six now and I couldn’t be happier with me.  Me because I am doing what I said I would.

I promise to write a big post (maybe even tonight) about the “fear of feeling hungry” – I have a lot to say on this one!

To all my American buddies, I hope y’all had a great Thanksgiving.

Much love, Carolyn