Avital Zeisler

avital

An amazing woman, I am currently doing her October challenge. It’s not a fitness program but something so much more about defending yourself and being strong. I encourage you to check it out here.

We are on day six now and this is the quote of the day. I am sure she will not mind me posting just the quote – it was too powerful not to and rings so true to where I am at the moment.

avital zeisler

A change of mind (and heart)

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I don’t know how many times on this blog I have said the words “it’s finally time.  I am taking responsibility for my health and happiness”.  Well my friends I am going to say it again.

I’ve had quite a hard time of it lately. I was not looking after my health, I was drinking way too much, I was eating about three times the average amount of food a normal person should eat, sometimes secretly.  All of this ended up with me gaining not only weight but also questioning who I want to be for the rest of my life.

On July 11th this month I turned 47.  Now I’m not big on the age thing.  It is what it is, but this time I could actually notice myself aging. I could see my skin getting that little bit thinner and dry.  My period, which was as reliable as Big Ben, was now all over the place, sometimes not coming for months at a time.  Gravity was beginning to really come calling and I was feeling VERY sorry for myself.

Knowing that I hadn’t had proper ‘get on a plane with a passport vacation’ for years, my oldest and dearest friend talked me into going to Phuket to a luxurious villa.  Needless to say from the picture above it was amazing.

Unfortunately the second night I fell over and badly sprained my ankle leaving it incredibly difficult to walk for the rest of the holiday.  For me this was a real wake up call.  If I don’t start doing something about my health, my weight and my work/life balance the rest of my life is not going to get any better.  If anything, worse.

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Our private infinity pool.

We talked a lot on that vacation about health and our lives and where we wanted to be.  He had a good friend who passed away some years ago now.  She tried for years and years to give up smoking but couldn’t. During her career she worked incredibly hard for all they had. She was the hardest of workers.  It came to her one day, a little too late, that if she is such a hard worker, then giving up smoking is just hard work and I know I can do that.

Now I am sure I‘m not doing this story any justice but it rang true with me.  I work bloody hard, so this is just another something I need to work hard at, and to me it makes total sense. I have worked hard all my life in my career; surely I can work hard at something that is going to keep me alive and feeling good.

Yes, it does sound way too easy but it’s put my head into a totally different space and that’s a good thing. So here I go.

But, just a little bit differently this time.

I’ll post again later on, but I couldn’t help but share this most adorable picture of my boys on the beach this morning.  I love them more than life itself.  Went for my first walk in 6 weeks after injuring my foot.  It’s aching now, but it was worth it.

Portion Sizes

I just found this diagram and love it.  I seriously have a hard time with ‘how much should I eat’ at any one time.  Usually it’s way too much and this is a great guide.

Excited that it’s almost the weekend.  I have a lot to do and then not so much to do.  I love weekends like that.  I also plan to update this little blog on my running progress (which is going rather well if I don’t say so).  Who would have thought that I could enjoy it as much as I am.

Happy Thursday.

This is me one week ago – trust me it’s a VERY flattering shot.

Wow.  What a crazy 7 months it’s been in my life.  Sometimes it’s been just fantastic, and at other times I have been at the point of despair, not quite sure how I can go on with the situation as it is.

And in the middle of all of this, yes I have put on weight.  These past couple of days I have decided to be completely honest with myself (yes it took me a couple of days to face up to the scales).  I have put on SEVEN-POINT-FIVE kilograms.  That would be 16.5 lbs.  This has only happened over the last 4 weeks – and now is the time to do something about it.

It was not a shock.  I mean when your clothes start getting that little bit too tight and your jeans are, well not at all loose, then your body is telling you something.  And that’s OK.  Well actually it’s not that OK but I now have the tools in my pocket to get rid of this weight and shed even more this spring just in time for summer.

Bring on summer I say.

I am good with a goal.  When I lost nearly 25kgs, it was because I wanted to lose 25kgs.  Now, given what I have put on I want to lose 18kgs.  That will have me weighing in at 63 kgs or 138.6 lbs.

Not only will I go back on my program (documented throughout this blog) but I have set a secondary goal.  That goal is to run a 5k marathon.  YES, a 5k marathon and me.  Now that’s a big goal.

Yes that’s the one highlighted.

I started Sunday.  I kind of started on Saturday with buying a new sport bra (my how they have come on since I last bought one – as well as the cost – $80!!) and a new pair of Brooks running shoes (um when did work-out shoes cost you $250??) and socks (HELLO – $35 for socks that ‘support’ you).

Armed with this $365 investment I signed up to the 0-5k Runkeeper program ($4.95).  I love love love Runkeeper – I’m an ex-researcher and anything that will give me stats makes me very happy (as well as knowing that I am getting closer to my goal).

The Runkeeper program

My last goal is to work on my blog again.  It really kept me focused as I navigated through the maze of weight loss.  This now leads nicely into how I want to finish my first (well not quite) entry

THANK YOU for all the emails and messages you have sent asking how I was.  It really meant a lot to me.  You have no idea how much.

Much love, Carolyn

Not too much to report

Basically that’s about it.  I am still on track and have started to pump up the activity.  I have been walking for the past 3 days and I am really enjoying it.  The boys (2 dogs, 1 human) are also loving it as you can see from the photo above.  That’s down at the local park.  I just want to make sure I am doing some kind of activity each day.  Work is really stressful and it clears my head as well.

It was just beautiful tonight – you can feel and see summer coming up on us.  This is the little pond/lake that the ducks and ducklings play in.

Eating wise I must admit that I am having to make myself eat at the moment.  I can’t believe that I am saying it, but it’s true.  Mr Man cooked lean pork and spinach tonight for me.  Just delicious.

Hope you all had a great weekend – not too long to go until Christmas and I am a little worried at being slack around my eating.  I just need to stay focused and write each day.  That helps immensely.

I hope you all had a great weekend.  To my American friends I am SO jealous that you have Thanksgiving coming up on Thursday.  When I lived in the US that was my favourite holiday ever!  So happy Thanksgiving – have some turkey for me (but not too much of course!)

Stranger friend inspiration

There are a number of *weight-loss blogs I read on a daily basis. They are all inspirational in their own way.  As I make my way through this journey, I turn to them for support (thanks Di), ideas, recipes (thanks Betty), new exercises and their wonderful humour.

I just came across this post from One-Twenty-Five.  Her post title forty things I like about losing forty pounds, rang so true for me and how I am beginning to feel about myself.  I started to talk about it a little in this post.

  1. Heels. High, high heels.  I used to think I looked like an elephant balancing on heels, and hated wearing them. Now I embrace them.
  2. Rings. I wear normal size rings now. This used to be a HUGE fear of mine – getting engaged and my ring finger being too fat for the ring.
  3. Being able to cross and uncross my legs comfortably and easily. No hand help now, thankyouverymuch.
  4. Feeling so much healthier, stronger, happier.
  5. Waking up in the morning, lying in bed, and mentally deciding what to wear – everything I own now fits! Whereas, it used to be whatever fits me today..
  6. Hearing compliments. Losing weight is bloody hard, so it’s always nice to hear I look good.
  7. Being able to (somewhat) share clothes with friends. To share clothes with my sister is the ultimate goal…

It’s starting to get hot in Perth – this means a good 5-6 months of heat – hot, dry heat.  But this year, I am going to make summer my bitch.  Not quite sure how at the moment, but I am thinking about it.

*Let the record reflect that I have a passionate dislike for the term ‘weight-loss blog’.

Rediscovering my inner fashionista

The one thing I’m looking forward to about losing my excess weight is ‘allowing’ myself to buy one of the ‘dresses of my dreams’.  I think this dress, designed by Victoria Beckham is just beautiful.  No I don’t want to be skinny like her, but I cannot wait to see my waist again and show off my legs.

This dress will be one of my rewards for all the hard work I am putting in at the moment.  I must admit that re-reading the last sentence, I realise that the real reward comes in the form of:

  1. Having more energy than I know what to do with
  2. Not ONE hot flush since the day I started this new eating regime
  3. Knowing that I will live a longer and more productive life
  4. Being able to not worry about getting dressed every morning
  5. Having people telling me that my skin is ‘glowing’
  6. Being able to focus at work for hours on end
  7. Seeing Mr Man look at me with pride
  8. Looking at myself with pride
  9. Actually wanting to be more active on a daily basis
  10. Depression slowly making a retreat
  11. Making summer my ‘bitch’ – I want to write about this at length, but for the past 5 years or so since putting on this weight I have hated the thought of summer and having to get dressed in clothes that didn’t completely cover my body

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.  Here’s to nearly 28 days of eating well and not drinking.

Heading into Week 2

Last night at Lake Monger

It’s now been eleven days and I’m still going strong.  I must admit that over the weekend I really, really wanted to feel full (by stuffing myself with food), but with the success of Thursday’s weight-in, I didn’t want to spoil it.

Oh, did I forget to tell you?  FOUR POINT SEVEN KILOS (10.3 lbs).

Yes you heard it straight.  I was convinced that I had lost about 3kgs.  Mr Man thought that it was 5kgs.  I am ecstatic at what I’ve achieved in the first week.

Dr Rensburg really didn’t want to tell me how much I had lost.  Now I really get why.  All I can think about at the moment is how much I can lose this week.  He warns us against this time and time again.

I just have to keep my eye on the prize and push through.  Push through wanting:

  • A glass of wine (or two) in the evening with Mr Man
  • A big cooked breakfast on a Saturday morning
  • More than 95grams of vegetables or salad at any one time
  • A martini (or two)
  • My favorite pasta salad
  • A baked potato (with cheese)
  • Being able to go out with friends and not feel like the ‘downer’
  • Cheese, cheese and more cheese
  • Toast with butter and Vegemite
  • A sausage roll
  • Onion (I would love to be able to cook with it to spice up my food)

It’s worth it though.  Being able to fit into clothes that have been hanging in my closet for the last five years will reward all of this suffering effort.  I cannot wait.

Anyways, back to yesterday.  I was SO hungry.  I just wanted to feel satiated.  I wanted to feel not hungry.  At lunch I ate nearly 250grams of cabbage, not the 95 grams as I should have.  Boy did I feel guilty.  I know it’s ridiculous to think that  a mere 20 calories of food has had me fall off the wagon, but I am an all or nothing gal.

Rather than sit there and sulk about being bad, I got my ass out of the house and off to Lake Monger for a 3.5km walk.  It was such a beautiful evening.  There were so many people out and about walking their dogs, running, having picnics and watching the ducklings play in the water.

Now I am back on track and heading into another week of the program.