Yep.  That’s right.  I have, over the past 9 months, managed to stack on an impressive 7.5kgs.  Again I will say it’s the heaviest I have been in my life.  Ever.

To say it came as a complete shock was an understatement, but I must say that now I actually know the truth, I can start from here.  I had been avoiding the scales for a good nine months.  Now that I am back on Weight Watchers I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to stand on that horrific little machine as it blasted out numbers I didn’t want to hear.

I am so good at hiding my weight with clothing that I thought I was at least 10kgs lighter.

My weight issues have been with me since I can remember.  I always felt like the biggest person in the class:  the fattest person.  Looking back on photographs I wasn’t at all.  This feeling did, however, lurk with me during my 20’s and 30’s manifesting in me always buying clothes that were at least 2 sizes too big.  A classic case of body dysmorphia.

Now I think I look 2 sizes smaller than I actually am and it’s scared me beyond belief.

Another way of the universe telling me it’s time to look after myself.  Dear universe, you have been heard.