2009 will be my year

This online diary will document my struggle (and eventual success) to lose weight and become fit and healthy.  I have decided to go with Weight Watchers on-line version of their program.  I lost nearly 20lbs on it when I was living in New York City.  I know it can work, so it’s a safe option for me.  I officially started with WW on the 13th January, 2009.  

I am at the heaviest I have ever been, weighing in at 87.5kgs (192.5lbs).  I was shocked.  When I last went on WW 7 years ago I thought I was heavy at 155lbs (70.4kgs).

Rather than beat myself up, I decided to take control and get down to a weight where I felt happy.  I don’t need to be “skinny” or “thin” like I wanted to in my 20’s and 30’s.  No, today I want to feel energetic, toned and beautiful.  Especially for my boyfriend who supports and loves me no matter what my size.

I also want to examine the relationship I have with my body.  Now into my 40’s, I expect less from it (I don’t want, or need to be perfect).  I struggled with bulimia throughout my 20’s and 30’s.  All I wanted to be was thin.  I thought that if I could just do that, then the rest of my life would work out.  Well it didn’t.  I still felt big and ugly and drove away the people in my life that loved and accepted me for who I was.

After a very hard time, including a 2 month stint in hospital from depression in 2008, I am going make the most of my life in 2009 and beyond.  I am in a great relationship, I am finally home after living away for nearly 20 years and I have just started my own business.

And so my journey starts…….

4 thoughts on “2009 will be my year

  1. Hi Carolyn! Good for you and good luck! I’ve been recovered 20 years now (bulimia/anorexia) but am still recovering emotionally, layer by layer. (After all, there is a REASON we were sick!) I keep thinking I’m finished, but there’s always more to deal with. That’s okay, it keeps life interesting. The struggle for me still is to simply be me and to love and accept myself the way I am. There are enough people out there who do, but I still have a tendency to look for the ones who don’t. Crazy. Anyway, you’re on the right path! And it’s definitely not about being skinny. It is about feeling good and whole.
    Best wishes,
    Martha

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